Everyone experiences conflict in their relationship at some stage and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. How you manage it determines if it is a healthy part of your relationship or if it is working against you and causing problems.

Learning how to manage conflict is an important part of both personal and business relationships and can set you up for success in both areas. There are a few things you can do to make sure you resolve differences without the unhealthy conflict.

Stay calm

There is a tendency when people get frustrated, to raise your voice to speak over the other person and make yourself heard. This doesn’t work on any level because it turns it from a form of communication to a competition to win the point. The other person will either raise their voice to compete, or stop listening.

Be really aware of your volume and if you feel it is starting to increase, take a deep breath, pause for a moment and try again at a suitable volume level. If you are too emotional to do this, then take some time out to calm down and then return to the conversation.

Pick your Time

Often when there is something that you really feel you need to talk to your partner about, you pounce on them the moment they walk in the door, or even try to talk about it whilst at work. This is unlikely to have good results. It is important to know when the best times to talk to your partner are. This isn’t to say you need to wait a week to have your say, but do pick a time when they are likely to be able to listen and have the energy and interest to do so. Read More

Many couples put a lot of focus on the wedding day and planning the perfect honeymoon. This is such an exciting time and this one small period in their lives together has been planned to the tiniest detail. But how many of those couples have put as much effort into working out and planning the rest of their lives together?

Couples meet, fall in love, decide they are compatible and want a life together. Usually some sort of routine is worked out to live together and there are general plans in place for buying a home or having kids. That’s usually about it.

Having a successful marriage takes work. Both before you plan the wedding day to make sure you both really want the same goals in life, or near enough that you can make it work, and throughout the relationship.

I have detailed some of the key areas that really need to be discussed and resolved before you walk down the aisle.

1.   Work out your goals.

• Where do you want to be in 5 years or 10 years?
• Where do you see yourselves living – country, city, by the beach, in the suburbs?
• Do you want to travel before you buy a house? Do you even want to buy a house? Read More