When asked what they want from counselling, clients often say, “I just want to be happy, how can I be happy?” So often in life we are striving for happiness and seem to get knocked off that path by other people and the effect their actions have on us. You can only control your own thinking and your own behaviour. Happiness is different to everyone, but a good place to start, is to remove problems from our thinking that impact our happiness.
Here are some tips to stop letting other people affect you.
1. Don’t take everything personally.
We have a habit of making ourselves the centre of the universe and every action by other people is somehow about us. It’s not all about you!! Sometimes people behave badly, just because they do. It actually has nothing to do with you and it is completely their personality and their behaviour. Chances are, if they are rude to you, then they are rude to most people. Let it go.
2. Don’t take everything seriously.
Life is meant to be fun – yes it can be hard work at times but it doesn’t always need to be so serious. I have a rule to decide if I need to stress and worry about a problem, or just go with it. The question I ask myself is “Will it matter in a year? Will I even remember this problem the same time next year?” If the answer is “no”, then deal with it calmly and let it go. That flat tyre on the way to work is annoying, but it’s hardly worth being unhappy over and chances are you won’t think about it in a few days. [Read more…]