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By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

Natural Ways to lift your mood

Healthy Brain food

This article is a summary of information from an article written a decade ago by a dietitian friend of mine, Paula Tazzyman. I am not qualified to talk about food and the impact it has on mood at a technical level which is why I originally asked this wonderful dietitian to explore this for my clients. The original article is on my website if you would like to read it in full, but I felt during this extended lockdown, it would be good to put this information out again for my clients.

Our brains, like our bodies, require nutrients to function well. During this never ending lockdown, many people are really starting to struggle with low mood and depression. Whilst we can’t fix the real cause of this, what we can do is give our brains the best tools to survive it. That means feeding your brain with the nutrients it needs.

Here are a few things that are easy to do and will help support your mood.

1.Eat tryptophan rich protein foods.

Tryptophan is used to make serotonin, the feel good brain chemical. To help your brain produce serotonin naturally, try adding these foods into your diet:

  • Turkey
  • cheese – especially cottage, swiss and cheddar
  • milk
  • yoghurt
  • eggs
  • meat
  • fish
  • chicken
  • nuts
  • soy and other legumes.

2. Eat plenty of zinc rich foods.

Zinc too is required to make serotonin. To boost your zinc naturally eat:

  • Oysters, ideally fresh
  • Seafood
  • red meat
  • pumpkin seeds are a good option from plant foods.

(Signs of zinc deficiency include: white spots/ridges on nails, stretch marks, poor wound healing, mouth ulcers, eczema & psoriasis, hair loss, low immunity, loss of appetite, impaired sense of taste and smell).

According to the dietitian, blood tests for zinc are not very accurate and if you suspect you may be low in zinc, see a good naturopath to test for this. Zinc can unbalance other nutrients so if you want to try a supplement as well as natural foods, see a naturopath first.

3. Eat a magnesium rich diet.

Magnesium is also involved in making serotonin. Magnesium calms the nervous system and relaxes the body. Easy ways to add magnesium are:

  • Brazil nuts (3-4 per day)
  • rolled oats
  • brown rice
  • green leafy vegetables
  • nuts and seeds
  • legumes and dark chocolate ( a particular favourite of mine!).
  • Bathing in epsom salts

Low magnesium levels may show through tight muscles leading to cramps and muscle fatigue, increased hyperactivity and impulsivity, poor sleep, poor attention, constipation, anxiety and depression.

4. Omega 3 fish oils.

Omega 3 fish oils are a great support for mood. Naturally, eating fish is a good natural support here but may not be enough alone to support the levels of Omega 3 needed to support mood. A good Omega supplement with EPA may also help here.

Signs that the body needs more omega 3 fats are excessive thirst; frequent urination; rough, dry, bumpy skin; dry, dull hair/dandruff; soft, brittle nails, eczema, asthma, hay fever, poor night vision, sensitivity to light, visual disturbances, distractibility, poor concentration, difficulties with memory, depression, excessive mood swings, undue anxiety, difficulties falling asleep or waking up.

5. Vitamin D.

Vitamin D deficiency is becoming common in Australia now. A blood test will show if your levels are adequate to support your mood. She suggests having levels well above 75 nmol/L all year round and that levels of 100-120 nmol/L are good for mental health.

The easiest way to meet this need is through exposure to sunlight. The darker your skin, the more exposure you need. This is usually easy to meet in Summer but can be hard in Winter so a good supplement can assist through the Winter months. Obviously take care of your skin and don’t get burnt trying to fill up on your Vitamin D levels in the sun.

6. Exercise

This last one isn’t part of our diet but has a big impact on our mood also. It is suggested that 20 minutes of elevated heart rate a day will help boost our mood. Get out for a quick walk around the block, put a YouTube exercise class on or join an online gym class. It is hard to start exercising when we feel down, but if you set yourself a 20 minute goal a day it is usually attainable and over time we start to enjoy this mood bolstering outing.

The full article by Paula explains some of this in more detail if you are interested. There is no need to overhaul your diet, simply being aware to add some of these foods in on a daily basis, getting some sunshine and going for a walk, can help keep us mentally healthy whilst we sit out this lockdown.

I hope this helps. As always, reach out if you need and book a session.

Filed Under: Depression, Online Counselling

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

10 Ways to Help Survive Lockdown – Again

 

Lockdown can bring up many mental challenges that we don’t expect and don’t have the experience to navigate easily. For some people, mostly the introverted, Lockdown can be reasonably easy to navigate if not enjoyable in some ways. For others, it can cause mild levels of depression that become hard to manage when isolated – think of our extroverts who need people to recharge their batteries.

Whilst everyone likes to say “we are all in this together”, and we are, but we all have very different experiences and challenges.

I am speaking to people who are typically upbeat and outgoing but during this lockdown, they are struggling to find their happy space. And this can be both confusing and confronting. Even the introverted who enjoy being at home are finding it tough having everyone else at home with them constantly and not getting a break from people. Even if they love them.

Then there are those who live alone and are isolated. And of course, the financial challenge for many. Life in lockdown can be extremely challenging for people in this situation. Sometimes we may start to feel different and not even realise it for a while.

We can’t change what the rules are and what we have to live with. What we do have control over is how we think, to a certain degree, and what we do within the rules we’ve been given. We have control over our actions within the home.

What are some things we can do to help survive this difficult time and care for our mental health?

  1. Firstly, accept that you are in this space and stop focusing on being angry about it. I get you may feel angry. Whether it is fair or appropriate is irrelevant to your mental health. You can’t change it so focusing on the negative only makes you feel Start saying to yourself that “Yep, this is hard, I don’t like it, don’t agree with it. But I can’t change it, I will be ok, this will end, I will use this time to look after myself”. Or something to that effect.
  2. Reflect on who you are (introverted, extroverted, a mix) and what you need to ‘charge your batteries’. Be honest with yourself. If you hate being isolated and away from friends, then acknowledge that. If you are struggling having your family on top of you every day, then be honest about that with yourself. Self-insight is really important to help manage our mental health so taking time to think about your mental and emotional needs is important.
  3. Once you know what your needs are, look at ways to try and meet those needs as best you can in this situation. One very extroverted friend of mine said he is struggling with being isolated and so he and his mates hooked up a Zoom call, fired up their barbeques and sat with their beers and had a remote barbecue. Is that as good as being with his mates? Of course not, but he found a way to lessen the feeling of isolation and connect with his mates. Think about ways you can connect with people you miss.
  4. Be aware that Winter and the lockdown are both having an impact on our Vitamin D levels. There is evidence to support Vitamin D has an impact on our mood and being deficient can cause our mood to drop. Consider taking a Vitamin D supplement to support your mood during this time.
  5. Make a list of things you can achieve during this time or things to do to keep you busy and fulfilled. Learn a new skill, try a new hobby, finish (or start), something you have wanted to do but never had the time. Some ideas and some things people I know are doing are:
    • learn to cook or if you can cook, learn some new recipes or get creative.
    • Grab your camera if you have one or your phone if not and get creative with some photography. There are plenty of apps available to edit your photos and you can have some fun creating.
    • Get fitter. Hard to get the motivation with this sometimes but again there is a huge number of online tutorials to help you. Some basic weights or exercise equipment which you can easily get delivered online will help start this journey. Even consider setting up a Zoom session with a friend and exercise together remotely. Maybe set yourself a challenge and start a competition in your home or with friends.
    • Declutter one room in your home every few days. This alone is great for our mental health, having an organised space.
    • Get your photo collection out and organise it.
    • If you have a dog, teach it a new trick. Your dog will love the time with you too.
    • Write a book. Maybe nobody will ever read it, that isn’t the point though. Get creative and write your own novel. Or if that doesn’t appeal, how about writing your life story. That itself can be quite a journey and something nice to read and reflect on years down the track. It can also be really therapeutic.
    • Set up online dates with friends. Plan ahead so you have something to look forward to.
    • If you are part of a couple, set up date night as though you are going out to dinner. Set a romantic table, a nice meal, get dressed up and create the theme as though you are at a restaurant. Creating this can be as fun as the meal itself.
    • Get the board games out and play with family or again, remotely with friends.
    • Learn to sew or knit.
    • Take up a musical instrument.
    • Take an online course.
    • Make some family videos.

6. Be kind to yourself. It’s ok if you feel flat. Don’t compare yourself to how others are doing, we all do this lockdown thing differently because we have different environments and different needs. Reach out to someone you trust to talk about how you feel. Sometimes just acknowledging that can be enough to help you through a tough moment.

7.Reach out for counselling. Many people haven’t tried counselling, believing it to be for people who are mentally not well. It’s actually the opposite. It is about helping people navigate moments in life and helping them to understand themselves so they can make healthy changes for themselves. We don’t ‘fix’ people, we help, guide, support and accept. We have been trained to listen and ask good questions to help you learn about you.

It’s interesting, in other countries, people have their “own therapist” who they speak to as they need and they see this as legitimate as visiting the dentist or taking the car to the mechanic. They speak about it freely. It is a positive and a good thing to have your own therapist. In Australia though, we view it as a negative need and not something that we embrace as a good thing, nor do we share the experience with our friends. I have some clients who treat is as kindness to themselves and see me regularly for years. Not because they have ‘issues’ but simply because they enjoy it.

As a counsellor, I need to do regular sessions with another counsellor to make sure I am doing my job well. I love these sessions. I have a counsellor who I have worked closely with for years and genuinely look forward to my sessions with him. It is a time that is just about me, to say whatever I feel and not worry about judgement. Some times I get a little out of those sessions, other times I get a lot. After more than a decade of doing this job, I still learn about myself. Lockdown is the perfect time to try out counselling and see if you like it. Not only will you get some support in a difficult time, you may learn something about yourself and come out of lockdown in a better head space and having a cool resource to use in future.

8.Try and get a healthy routine going. It can be tempting to sleep in, lie in your pyjamas all day and do nothing. I love this for the odd day or two, pyjama days can be really healthy, but not frequently. Get dressed, exercise, eat well, have a plan to achieve at least one thing (big or small) each day.

9.Rearrange a room. This can be fun and create a different environment when you are stuck in the one environment. No cost involved here but if you need a few things, again there are plenty of places delivering during this time with no contact. Nothing like a fresh space to enjoy being stuck in!

10.Finally, keep a diary of this time. Written or video, it can be a really great way of identifying how you are going and it is something that we can all do and reflect on in years to come.

This can be a really challenging time. Be kind to yourself, remind yourself it will end at some point and reach out for help if you feel down.

All the best.

Filed Under: Online Counselling

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

How effective is Online Counselling?

 

Online Counselling

 

What a year of changes for the world. The biggest change for me personally, is how I now work with clients.

For over a decade I have been helping people in my counselling rooms in Baulkham Hills. With the advent of Covid, I wanted to continue to the work I was doing but could no longer see people face to face. As much as I didn’t think online counselling could be as effective, I had no choice if I wanted to continue the work I had started with many people. More than ever, clients wanted the support of their counsellor.

After a few days of sitting and doing nothing, I put in place online counselling sessions using Zoom. I’d never heard of it before this and suddenly it is a major means of contact and work for many of us. Many of my clients were using Zoom for work, but could it be effective for counselling sessions?

The first online counselling sessions with my clients were unexpectedly seamless. We continued the work we had been doing and the feel was just as intimate. Clients told me that it felt just as good as being in the room with me.

Many people are put off by the idea of online counselling as they have been attending work meetings online and find it to be harder. The big difference is that it is just us. There is no big group, just you and your counsellor working with each other in a dedicated space.

Online counselling sessions for me, became a place where I was still connecting with my clients and providing a counselling service, but somehow, instead of decreasing the connection, it seemed to make it closer. A little less formal, a little easier to connect with the person on the screen and overall a really great experience.

The human connection is still there for counselling which is really important.

What else is great?

Well so far I have Zoomed with my clients in all sorts of spaces that work for them.

  • In the park on lunch break
  • At their home office
  • From their work office
  • In their car (this seems to be a favourite!)
  • From the same suburb
  • Living in another country (explains the clock behind them being a different time!)
  • On their lounge in their pajamas
  • In their kitchen
  • At a primary school on lunch break
  • Driving home from work (phone for this one, not video)
  • Kids on the laps
  • Kids playing in the background
  • Dogs saying hello. Many, many dogs!

I’m looking forward to more interesting sessions as we go along. Quite literally, wherever people are, they can jump in for a remote counselling session and then get back to what they are doing with no travel time.

Online counselling has made it more accessible for everyone, more relaxed and just as effective. The response from clients has been great too. Some told me they like to see me in person (they feel calm with me) but once they had tried an online counselling session and experienced how efficient and effective it is, they are happy sticking with remote counselling.

And so, from the lockdown that stopped me in my tracks delivering my service and helping people, I have a new way of delivering my skill set to people and I’ve decided to stick with it. I look forward to meeting you on Zoom in the future.

If you would like to work with Sharon, Book a session online now. For overseas clients with different time zones, please email me to arrange an appointment that will work between time zones.

Filed Under: Online Counselling, Relationships, Self-esteem Tagged With: Online Counselling, relationship counselling, Remote Counselling, self-esteem counselling

By Sharon Chapman 48 Comments

How to Support a Partner with Low Self-Esteem

support-partner-with-low-self-esteemAs a counsellor, I have two areas that I specialise in, these being relationships, and depression/self-esteem. Often when couples present for help with a relationship issue, there is one partner who is suffering from either depression or has low self-esteem. In order to help the relationship, we also need to address these individual issues in order to create a healthy, strong relationship.

While you can’t fix your partners self-esteem, you can go a long way to supporting them as they heal themselves and this ultimately benefits everyone. Some people are aware that they have low self-esteem and their partner is also aware. At other times, the behaviour of the partner with low self-esteem is put down to other things and they are ‘blamed’ for these behaviours.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

  • Struggles to accept compliments, often deny or push the compliment away
  • Seems very needy in some ways. Perhaps affection or always looking for validation
  • Not comfortable in some social situations
  • Doesn’t achieve career wise as you would expect them to, based on their capability
  • Not willing to try new things
  • Reacts angrily to any possible negative comment about themselves
  • For women, often wearing a lot of makeup to leave the house or even within the home
  • A real focus on how they look and needing validation around this
  • For men (some women), talking a lot of assets they have
  • Rarely initiate intimate affection
  • ‘Clingy’
  • Need to check on you when you are out
  • A lot of questions about what you are doing when you are not with them

These are just some signs, and not all of these on their own indicate low self-esteem. But, chances are, if your partner ticks a few of these, then they may have low self-esteem. Supporting them to get to a healthy place for themselves, will ultimately help the relationship too and make your life easier. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Online Counselling, Self-esteem

By Sharon Chapman 1 Comment

10 Habits of Healthy Relationships

Happy Relationship

There are small habits or skills which all couples who  have successful relationships seem to have in common. Ten of these are outlined below and all are easy to include in your relationship.

1.  Look for something positive in each other every day and tell your partner.

At the start of the relationship, couples naturally do this but as time goes on and you become familiar and comfortable, you start to focus on the negative things.

There are probably a whole lot of things your partner does each day that are positive, but you will often only point out the negatives to them. This doesn’t make anybody feel good and makes you really aware of what is wrong with the relationship, not what is right. I’m not suggesting you ignore problems, just don’t make your relationship a problem focused one. The more you look for the good, the better you both feel about each other.

2.  Don’t try and fix each other. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Online Counselling, Relationships

Sharon Chapman: Relationship, Self-Esteem and Parenting Counsellor

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Call 0468 950 420

Recent Articles

  • How Positive Thinking Impacts Our Mood
  • Are you mean to yourself?
  • Natural Ways to lift your mood
  • How can low self- esteem affect the adolescent?
  • 10 Ways to Help Survive Lockdown – Again
  • A Little Bit About Anger

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Phone: 0468 950 420
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