If you are in your first serious relationship, then chances are you have very little baggage that affects your current relationship. You see your relationship with fresh eyes and form expectations based on the actions and behaviour of your partner. If you have previously had a long-term or serious relationship before your current one, then you very likely have some expectations already formed from prior relationships.
Whilst this can be a healthy thing at times, for example, we know exactly what we value in a relationship and what we won’t put up with, it can also present with problems that perhaps we didn’t expect.
At times I work with couples who are in a new relationship and they find that problems that occurred in their past relationship are recurring. Sometimes those issues aren’t actually there, but past hurt makes you believe that it is what you have. [Read more…]