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By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

How effective is Online Counselling?

 

Online Counselling

 

What a year of changes for the world. The biggest change for me personally, is how I now work with clients.

For over a decade I have been helping people in my counselling rooms in Baulkham Hills. With the advent of Covid, I wanted to continue to the work I was doing but could no longer see people face to face. As much as I didn’t think online counselling could be as effective, I had no choice if I wanted to continue the work I had started with many people. More than ever, clients wanted the support of their counsellor.

After a few days of sitting and doing nothing, I put in place online counselling sessions using Zoom. I’d never heard of it before this and suddenly it is a major means of contact and work for many of us.

The first online counselling sessions with my clients were unexpectedly seamless. We continued the work we had been doing and the feel was just as intimate. Clients told me that it felt just as good as being in the room with me.

Many people are put off by the idea of online counselling as they have been attending work meetings online and find it to be harder. The big difference is that it is just us. There is no big group, just you and your counsellor working with each other in a dedicated space.

Online counselling sessions for me, became a place where I was still connecting with my clients and providing a counselling service, but somehow, instead of decreasing the connection, it seemed to make it closer. A little less formal, a little easier to connect with the person on the screen and overall a really great experience.

The human connection is still there for counselling which is really important.

What else is great?

Well so far I have Zoomed with my clients in all sorts of spaces that work for them.

  • In the park on lunch break
  • At their home office
  • From their work office
  • In their car (this seems to be a favourite!)
  • From the same suburb
  • Living in another country (explains the clock behind them being a different time!)
  • On their lounge in their pajamas
  • In their kitchen
  • At a primary school on lunch break
  • Driving home from work (phone for this one, not video)
  • Kids on the laps
  • Kids playing in the background
  • Dogs saying hello. Many, many dogs!

I’m looking forward to more interesting sessions as we go along. Quite literally, wherever people are, they can jump in for a remote counselling session and then get back to what they are doing with no travel time.

Online counselling has made it more accessible for everyone, more relaxed and just as effective. The response from clients has been great too. Some told me they like to see me in person (they feel calm with me) but once they had tried an online counselling session and experienced how efficient and effective it is, they are happy sticking with remote counselling.

And so, from the lockdown that stopped me in my tracks delivering my service and helping people, I have a new way of delivering my skill set to people and I’ve decided to stick with it. I look forward to meeting you on Zoom in the future.

Filed Under: Online Counselling, Relationships, Self-esteem Tagged With: Online Counselling, relationship counselling, Remote Counselling, self-esteem counselling

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

How to Survive Lockdown with your family

Life as we know it, with the Coronavirus, has changed for all of us and as humans, we aren’t great at change. For most of us, we struggle to adapt quickly and accept the changes. What we are all living through now is confronting on many levels.

For most of us, we find ourselves confined in our homes with our families, or even worse perhaps, alone, and we need to employ some strategies to support our mental health. Already I am hearing from clients about the individual challenges they are facing being confined in their homes. These are some ideas that might help you and your family cope well with this strange way of living.

  1. Change the rules. Effective homes run on routine and rules. Since we can no longer run our homes around schooling, sports and outings, we need to redefine the rules. To take the pressure off parents, take a step back. Soften your rules on gaming and screen time, allow kids to play longer or chat to friends online. It may not be ideal but it ca be corrected when life goes back to normal. Doing this allows parents to relax a little more and helps keep kids occupied. Now is not the time to stress about perfect rules.
  2. Try and keep a new routine and schedule. Schools are trying to conduct home schooling as much as possible. Get your kids out of bed for school time, have breakfast, get dressed and do the school work. Don’t stress if you aren’t a math’s expert, you’re not alone, simply do your best and set some sort of schooling routine.
  3. Change focus and set this time as positive family time. Never in our lives have we been in this situation and we can find some positives if we look for them. Pull out the board games, set up a treasure hunt, set up your tent in the backyard on the weekend if you have that option. Dye the kid’s hair, give yourself a funny hair cut (or maybe just the kids!!), do some family drawings, keep a family journal of this time. One day our kids will look back on this time, let the have some fun stuff to recount. Let your imagination go and create some great memories.
  4. Accept that at some stage people are going to get on each other’s nerves. Have a plan for this. If you can, set aside a different room for people to use as a timeout room. Try and make use of the space in your home in a different way. The garage can be a great place to throw a chair in, put some music on and read a book, if that is the only space you can get. Be respectful of each person needing their own time.
  5. Plan family functions in the home. Set up a family video chat over dinner with another family and have a good laugh at what is happening in your home in this strange time. Set your kids up to have online chats with their friends. Adults arrange a girls or guys night online. Zoom and Houseparty are great apps that support us doing this. No, it isn’t the same but you are creating history here and we have no choice so get creative.
  6. For partners, have a date night. Pick a room, set the kids up with a movie in another room and go on your date. Get dressed up!! Have some fun in your home with your partner. Who knows? Maybe you’ll create a great new habit that you’ll take into the world at the end of this.
  7. Expect this to be hard at times. Call a friend, take time for yourself, or call a counselling service. This is what we do, it’s what we are good at. No we haven’t lived this situation either but we are great at listening and helping others get clarity in their lives. Already I have had a few clients call me distressed and end up feeling excited at the end of the call about what they can do with this time.
  8. Try and keep younger kids away from the constant news flow. We don’t want to create problems for ourselves and scared kids is a problem we don’t want. Share with them the basics at an age appropriate level and assure them the adults are dealing with it and they are safe.
  9. As I write this, we are still able to go for a walk so take advantage of this. Getting the kids out once a day can have a big impact on the rest of the day. A quick run around the block with them is all that is needed to break the home cycle. Make it fun. Challenge them to look for all the red doors or all of the pink flowers. It can be an amazing way to connect with our kids. The world has forced us to slow down and smell the flowers so let’s do just that.
  10. Be kind. Some family members will find this easier than others. Be respectful of each other’s needs. Talk about it at dinner. Ask each person what the hardest thing is for them or what the best thing is. Keep communication about this open. Often being heard can be enough to feel calmer.

I am a parent and am locked in with my kids. There are moments when I wonder how we will survive this for a long period, but mostly I am trying to embrace the fact that I have been given an opportunity to spend time with my family and I am forced to try and make this fun for all of us. My hope is that when they recount this time to their kids one day, that they’ll remember this as a hard time but great family time too!

Good luck, stay safe.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Coronavirus and mental health

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

I’m a Mum and I don’t enjoy it.

Mums and Dads both provide an equally important role in the family. But today I am writing about Mums because the reality is, Mums more and more seem to be struggling with who they are meant to be these days.

Go back a couple of generations and we observe that Mums and Dads had very clearly defined roles. Once the kids came along, Dads were largely responsible for earning the money. Mums were responsible for keeping the home and children in order. Whilst women may have not been fulfilled with this role, they at least knew who they were meant to be. They had a clearly defined job description to follow, as did men. Easier to do your job when you have a clearly defined role to guide you.

Fast forward today and women are now supposed to be career women, full-time mothers, part-time workers, amazing lovers and everything in between. No longer is the job of being a woman clearly defined and whatever path you choose, there is either judgement, often self-judgement or guilt associated with the role. Mums often find themselves stuck in the middle of these roles and are deeply unhappy but can see no path out of the life they have found themselves in.

Naturally there are restrictions on which roles Mums can choose from due to financial constraints, age of children and lifestyle choices. Sometimes Mums want to stay at home and be full-time Mums but can’t due to financial needs. Sometimes Mums want to work a full-time job and can’t due to babysitting requirements. There is not much that can be done to alter these circumstances and we need to find a way to work within the choices available and still find a happy balance.

Balance. That is really what it is all about for women to find a life that is content if not happy during the childhood years. And the key to this balance is to be selfish. Yes that’s right, Mums often need to learn how to be selfish in order to find a happy balance.

Every Mum I have spoken to in my counselling room has stated that they can’t work as much as they like. Go out with friends, play sports and essentially make choices for themselves because they need to put family first. So Mums take on the role that is there and fulfil it with little thought to their own needs. Over time, Mums slowly find that they are not enjoying being a Mum as much as they thought they should and often feel like they have lost sight of who they are. Mum guilt plays a huge role in what choices Mums make too.

If Mum isn’t happy, then this will flow through to many areas in the family unit whether we like it or not. It is crucial that parents retain their identity whilst parenting and find a role that either provides happiness or at the very least, contentment.

The first thing I want to remind every Mum of is that it is ok to not enjoy parenting!! It is a really hard, challenging, rewarding, crazy, exhausting role. There are amazing parts of course and so much love but it is at times physically and mentally challenging and can be really lonely and boring too. And it is ok to feel this, to know this, to say this. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids, it just means you are an adult that requires different stimulation than what full time parenting provides.

So the first step is to be honest with yourself and work out what makes you happy. The second step is to find small ways to achieve these things. Keeping in mind that it is all about balance. Maybe working two days a week is enough to fulfil the need you have to feel mentally stimulated and have the social interaction with other people. Perhaps playing a sport one night a week is enough for you to feel that you are still retaining a part of you. There is no set answer, there is only what works for you the individual and whatever it is, it is ok!!

Your kids, your partner, your family, they will all benefit when you find a life that offers you enough to still be you. You are a person, you matter. Try and be a little bit selfish and watch your family thrive of the real you.

Filed Under: Parenting

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

Is your therapist right for you?

Is your therapist right for you?sw

Taking a first step into the world of therapy can be really daunting for most people.

Who to pick?

Will it help?

Will they judge me?

Is my problem big enough?

What will happen in the session?

These are just some of the questions people ask themselves when they are having their first therapy session. It can be really difficult to take that first step to see a therapist. Trying to work out where to start looking for the right person can be intimidating.

Therapy, whatever form, can be a wonderful thing that can improve life in many ways. But there are certain things that matter when choosing a therapist. It isn’t what people initially think.

What Qualifications?

Most people get caught up in whether they should be seeing a Psychiatrist, Psychologist or Counsellor. This matters and is the starting point only. A quick breakdown then of what each of these do.

Psychiatrist – A Psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has completed a medical degree and then gone on to do further study of mental health. They specialise in diagnosis and treatment of mental illness and can prescribe medication. A good for for diagnosable mental health conditions and serious intervention or treatment.

Psychologist – A Psychologist has a degree and works with mental health problems and human behaviour. They can diagnose, use talk therapy, provide testing for various issues and help treat behavioural problems. Psychologists don’t prescribe medication.

Counsellor – A Counsellor has either a degree or diploma. They are trained to give guidance with individuals to help navigate life’s problems. They also work with relationships to help learn skills to get and maintain a healthy relationship.  Counsellors do not diagnose. They may work in tandem with a general practitioner to provide overall help for a client who may benefit from medication.

There is often an overlap between the 3 roles which makes it confusing for people to find the right person to work with. As a starting point, if you have a general practitioner that you trust, this is the first point to ask who they believe might assist you. However, Mental Health Plans can only be used with Psychiatrists and Psychologists so they often won’t refer to counsellors. 

Generally, from there, if they believe that a Psychiatrist is required, that is where you begin your journey on exploring help options. If they suggest a Psychologist then a Psychologist or Counsellor may be suitable for you – IF – they are experienced in the area you need help in. Just as counsellors are not trained in many mental health conditions, many psychologists are not trained in relationship work.

A Psychologist has generally undertaken a far greater level of education.

The education matters.

The person themselves matters more.

The Therapist

The most important thing that matters in picking a therapist, is that you connect with them, that you like them.

At that first session, YOU are interviewing THEM!!! Yes, you are in charge. You are paying for a service, make sure you are happy with it. There is no mystery in therapy. As therapists, our role is to help you.

You absolutely need someone who is trained and experienced in what you would like to talk about. But, and this is the tricky bit, the training and the experience will only work if they are good at what they do as a human being. And if they are the right fit for you.

Imagine if you will, a primary school teacher. This person has done the degree, done extra courses, is incredibly qualified. You can practically wallpaper your walls in their education. But you, as a child, don’t like them, don’t connect with them. You won’t have a great experience and won’t learn as much. Imagine now another teacher with the same qualifications but this teacher gets you, they seem to understand you, they know how to work with you. You are going to have a good year and learn a lot.

So too this relates to therapy. Therapy is an interpersonal experience. Yes, your therapist needs to be trained and experienced but you also need to relate to them and like them to get the most out of it.

As a starting point, find someone who seems to have training and experience in what you need and then do one session. If you like them and feel they are a good fit, awesome, keep going! If you don’t feel it is quite right, stop. Shop around. Start over. Yes, it is a pain to tell your story over again but it is so worth it to find that right person to work with.

Many years ago, I was in the position of needing therapy to help me and I had no idea of who to work with (this was a long time ago before I became a counsellor). I initially worked with a really, really qualified therapist and hated it. It was memorably one of the worst experiences I had ever had. I walked away disillusioned. I thought therapy was useless and a waste of time.

Then a friend told me of a counsellor who worked a bit of a distance away but that she really liked. No where as near qualified as the therapist I had used. I figured I had nothing to lose and went to see her. That was one of the best turning points in my life and worth the travel. She got me. This counsellor wasn’t just working out of a book, she had life experience. I felt connected and safe with her and for the first time in my life I opened up.

That was the start of big change for me and I still remember those sessions and the changes that came from them. I credit that lady and those sessions with me learning a lot about myself.

From my experiences, both positive and negative, I shaped how I work as a counsellor. I do what I would have liked as a client. For many people I am that person that they finally connect with. But I am not a fit for everyone and that is ok too. I tell my clients that in the first session. Learn in that session if you like me and connect with me. Otherwise shop around.

You are the expert in YOU. Trust your instinct!

Learn a bit more about Sharon.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Counsellor

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

Teens and Social Media

Social media is having a bigger impact than many parents realise on the behaviour of their teenagers. Recently in my work I have had a large increase in parents asking for help with their teenagers and social media. Unfortunately for parents today, we are in a position of learning as we go, with little hard data on how to manage social media in healthy way. This is one area that we can’t refer back to our own childhoods on how to manage as we didn’t have any of this technology. Much of our parenting is guided by drawing on our own experience as a child and what we know worked or didn’t work. As parents today we are forging new ground and it can be both hard work and very confusing.

Some of the issues we are seeing include a large rise in self-esteem issues, poor behaviour, anger, withdrawal, lack of respect and engaging in activities that are older than we would hope for an age group.

For us oldies that went to school before social media came about, we faced the challenges of a school day and then went home where no peers entered our reality again until the next school day. For kids today, they come home and if they have social media, half their year class virtually comes home with them.

Often teens disappear to their bedrooms and take their device with them. For some kids, that is the last you see of them until a brief visit at meal time and then back they go to their friends and plenty of people who are simply acquaintances.

During these teens years, especially the early ones, our teens are forming their identity. They are working out who they are, their status, qualities, self-view and overall belief system of themselves. So this time is an incredibly important one and a time in which parents need to provide a safe space and guidance.

If we have half the school coming into our home through online devices, we lose a lot of control and expose our kids to a greater risk of forming an inaccurate self-view. Peer pressure to be a particular person, behave a certain way, is now presented to them in the safety of their home. If this goes badly, home is no longer a safe space.

As parents, our role is to keep our kids safe, teach them and guide them. Sometimes social media is the direct enemy of this. As if parenting teenagers isn’t hard enough, throw in social media and you have a whole other challenge to work with. Add to this that our kids are usually way more educated around current technology (I often hand my phone to my kids to ‘fix’ if I am stuck) than we are. On top of that, peer group pressure means they ‘need’ this technology. Both for school and so they fit in with perrs. When it comes to teenagers and social media any wonder parents are confused with how to parent.

I frequently see teenagers who are comparing themselves and their lives with their online friends. We are all aware that most of us post the ‘highlight reel’ of our lives on social media. Even knowing this, teens still take what they see on face value.

The first risk I see with social media is a distorted view of other people’s lives. Comparing themselves and their life to this then often leaves them feel like they are lacking or not good enough. It is often the first step to kids trying to be someone other than themselves.

The second risk I see is that anyone can put up just about anything online and it doesn’t need to have any truth to it at all. One of the best examples of this is teen girls following Instagram models and admiring their body and lifestyle and aspiring to this. Unfortunately, whilst there are some genuine people online, there are also plenty of these models with eating disorders.

I know of a group of teen girls who were obsessively following a particular Instagram model. Trying to diet and exercise as she was telling them she did to get her body. The problem was, this particular model was anorexic and had even admitted to fighting this illness (although not on her account). So we now had a group of teenagers whose idol and inspiration was a mentally ill woman who was creating an unhealthy image for them to aspire to. That’s really hard to parent against.

The third risk factor I see is the online bullying. As parents we are all aware that this exists but whether it is happening to your own child or not can sometimes be hard to determine. Bullying online can take all forms. A throw away negative comment by someone can be enough to make someone question their own identity or self-worth. Not being invited to social events and then seeing the evidence constantly stream online is a hard one for teens too.

The fourth risk I see is the push to grow up faster. Our teens are exposed to so much more than we may realise through social media. Group chats, videos, captions and pictures posted can contain plenty of inappropriate material that we wouldn’t otherwise allow our teens to see. In addition to this, kids are talking to each other in more inappropriate and disrespectful ways. It is easier when it isn’t in person to lose sight of normal boundaries.

The frequency of our young men asking our girls for ‘nudes’ and similarly, girls sending boys inappropriate photos of themselves. Many parents would be horrified to see the amount of this that goes on in some teen circles. Our kids still don’t understand that what they send or forward can not only land them in legal trouble but may stick with them for life. Many parents don’t think this is happening in their area. It is. You just haven’t seen it. There is a ‘code’ they are trying to keep and that includes not sharing this with adults.

The fifth and final risk is the amount of use these devices get and the health and mental health ramifications. Not only are things like eye sight affected, but mental health, depression, anger, self-esteem and withdrawal from other interests or family are now part of the possible problems you may have to contend with.

Whilst it is normal for teens to want to spend time in their rooms alone, the amount of time matters. If your teen is not engaged in conversations with you, skipping family time, racing to their room as fast as they can, then you may have a problem. Like anything, technology can become addictive and watching for social media/device addiction is important.

These are some of the things I see come of social media and teenagers. As a parent, set clearly defined expectations around social media and then try and be diligent in enforcing these expectations. Don’t fall into the trap of giving them access to social media until you believe they are ready and certainly not before they are legally allowed for their age. You aren’t being mean by keeping them safe.

Talk to your teens, make sure they remain engaged with you and talk about their day. The more you are engaged the easier it will be to notice changes in behaviour and watch for problems. Set restrictions in the amount of time they can be online or in their room. Ensure they are interacting with family.

Perhaps most importantly, try and form a trust and respect relationship with your teen. If you can create a safe relationship where your teen can tell you of their problems, concerns or mistakes without fear, then you have set yourself into a good space to be their guide and protector. The best role you can have as a parent of a teen.

If you need any further help in parenting around this area, then please get in touch.

It is usually easier to work with parents around how to navigate this in a healthy way rather than work through problems with teens in later years.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Parenting; self-esteem

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

10 Things to Help You Parent After Separation

As hard as we might try to keep our relationship healthy, at times it is better to separate and accept that happiness does not lie with your partner. When children are involved, separating adds a whole new level of difficulties and challenges for couples.

Separating is tough enough on its own, but being a parent means we are required to be in regular contact with our ex-partner whilst also dealing with the grief that separation often brings. This article is focused on giving some basic tools to help parent your kids safely through the initial separation. I am mindful that these strategies are best practice and may be difficult for many people to put into place whilst coming to terms with the end of the relationship. These are just guidelines to help you find a starting place with your co-parenting and not a definitive guide of must do’s. This stage is tough for everyone so don’t place unrealistic expectations on yourself or beat yourself up if you don’t always get it right. Try and use these ideas as a starting point and then perhaps seek a counsellor who can help guide you through this difficult stage in your life.

Following are ten things you can do to help your kids transition well to their new life.

  1. Don’t parent with guilt. Most parents feel guilty that they are separating and not providing the ideal life for their children. That’s hard and an emotion that you need to work through, but don’t start parenting differently to make up for it. Keep discipline much the same, have the same routines as much as possible, the same expectations of the household.
  2. Don’t spoil your kids with presents to make up for the change in their life. This is especially true of the parent who has less custody (yep, I know, sometimes it is 50/50). Be careful not to become the weekend Santa Claus. It might bring a smile to their face but the reality is you are probably making the parenting job harder for both of you down the track. Spoil them with love instead, hugs and your time are good places to start.
  3. Don’t introduce new partners any time soon. If you have already started a new relationship, be careful to make sure your children are in a good space for further change before you try and bring new people in. There is no set time around this, it really depends on the children and many other factors.
  4. Don’t say mean things about the other parent. I know that can be really hard, even if you chose to separate, parenting together can cause all sorts of grievances for you to deal with. Share them with someone more appropriate, friend or counsellor is a good starting point.
  5. Further to point 4, don’t talk badly about the other parent to other people whilst the children are in earshot. Kids become very interested in what is happening in the adult’s world when things change and they somehow develop super hearing powers, so be aware of where they are when it is adult talk. Some people do this accidentally and some people do it intentionally, the result is the same, it hurts the kids.
  6. Don’t use the kids to send messages back and forth to each other. If you are on good terms and the kids know it, sure you can tell them to mention something to Mum or Dad, but don’t use them if there is tension. If you need to communicate and it is too tense to do so by phone or in person, email is a great way of keeping it safe for everyone and away from the kids. It’s also less invasive than constant texts.
  7. Don’t interrogate the children when they return from the other parent. This is really damaging and over time kids can start to get anxiety over visits, not because they don’t want to see the other parent but because they know one of you will expect answers and they don’t want to upset anyone so they start to choose their responses. This is not healthy for kids.
  8. Do ask them how their time with the other parent was, but keep it casual and short. Once they feel they can talk freely with no negative consequence to anyone, they will share information about how they spent their time naturally.
  9. Remember, they still love the other parent. They may not have had the best relationship or they may have had an awesome one, but either way they usually love both parents. Let them, it’s healthy for them to have both parents if it is possible.
  10. Try as much as possible to keep routines and rules similar in each house. This is easier of course if you are on good terms but regardless of your relationship with your ex, your kids will benefit and so will you.

Separation is tough on everyone, but all concerned can, and most likely will go on to form healthy, happy lives once the grieving has finished. The timing and success of this partly depends on how well the adults manage this transition for their kids. If in doubt, seek help in navigating this difficult life change.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: divorce, parenting, separation

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

How a Previous Relationship can affect your current relationship

previous-relationship-current-relationshipIf you are in your first serious relationship, then chances are you have very little baggage that affects your current relationship. You see your relationship with fresh eyes and form expectations based on the actions and behaviour of your partner. If you have previously had a long-term or serious relationship before your current one, then you very likely have some expectations already formed from prior relationships.

Whilst this can be a healthy thing at times, for example, we know exactly what we value in a relationship and what we won’t put up with, it can also present with problems that perhaps we didn’t expect.

At times I work with couples who are in a new relationship and they find that problems that occurred in their past relationship are recurring. Sometimes those issues aren’t actually there, but past hurt makes you believe that it is what you have. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Relationships

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

Do you have empathy in your relationship?

empathy-in-relationshipWithout empathy in a relationship, it is unlikely to survive and thrive. Empathy is the backbone of a healthy relationship. The couples that I work with that display a high level of empathy, are most likely to get a productive result from relationship counselling and also require less time in the process or counselling.

Empathy allows couples to find a way to overcome different perspectives and emotional reactions in life and become a strong, team rather than sitting in their opposing views and causing a distance in the relationship.

Empathy is essentially being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and trying to understand how they might feel. While it is not always possible to have the same emotions as each other, trying to understand how it has affected your partner and at the very least accepting that is has an emotional impact on them, goes a very long way in forming and maintaining a strong connection in a relationship.

Most people have a natural level of empathy that we apply to friends and colleagues, yet we often withhold this same empathy from our partner. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Relationships

By Sharon Chapman 2 Comments

9 Signs your relationship may be in trouble

9 Signs your relationship may be in troubleOften when couples come to counselling for their relationship, they are in such a bad place that it can be difficult or even impossible to repair. Often at this stage at least one of the couple has decided to leave the relationship and is simply going through the motions of counselling.

The best time to go to couples counselling is when the relationship is healthy or when you are first noticing that it is not as rewarding as it used to be. It’s a little like servicing your car. You can get it checked when you first notice something isn’t quite right, or you can ignore the signs and wait till it breaks down to look at it.

So what are some of the signs that your relationship may be in trouble? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: relationship counselling, relationship problems, relationship trouble

By Sharon Chapman Leave a Comment

10 Signs you are in the right relationship

10 Signs you are in the right relationshipOften the initial attraction in a new relationship is the physical attraction and building on that, couples find if they are compatible in other ways. Sometimes couples enjoy the relationship but don’t actually stop to think if the relationship is in fact a good fit for the long term.

Many couples I work with that are thinking of exiting a long term marriage, will say that they fell in love and the relationship worked so they didn’t pay attention to the little things that perhaps weren’t a good fit. With the benefit of years, they say it is not a relationship they would choose again and in fact will be looking for different things in their next relationship.

So how do you know if your relationship has a good chance of going the distance? Below are some important factors in creating a solid, healthy relationship. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Relationships

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Sharon Chapman: Relationship, Self-Esteem and Parenting Counsellor

Sharon Chapman

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Recent Articles

  • How effective is Online Counselling?
  • How to Survive Lockdown with your family
  • I’m a Mum and I don’t enjoy it.
  • Is your therapist right for you?
  • Teens and Social Media
  • 10 Things to Help You Parent After Separation

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Affinity Counselling
Relationship & Depression Counselling Service
Baulkham Hills, NSW 2153
Phone: 0468 950 420
Email: sharon@affinitycounselling.com.au

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