When we think of sports, there are two distinct types, team sports and individual sports. When we look at relationships, couples start out playing as a team and then at some point, switch to the tactics of an individual sport. Or, a team sport that is played badly!!
At the beginning of a relationship, most people will play as though they are part of a team (if they aren’t then it probably doesn’t stand a chance anyway). They work together to get desired results and to help each other. The mindset at this point is not about how to win the game on your own, but how to win the game together by looking out for your team mate and working together to achieve a common goal.
As a relationship progresses and gets into the comfort zone where you start to take each other for granted (and of course not every relationship does this), the mindset becomes that of an individual sport. How can I get to the finish line first, how to I achieve what I want from this? [Read more…]