Do you and your partner feel like you are flatmates raising children together rather than the romantic couple you started out as? If you do, then you are not alone with many couples saying that they have found themselves in the exact same place after children.
Typically, it seems that once the children come along, couples turn their attention to raising the kids and keeping the finances in order. After some years of this, many couples will look at each other and realise that they do not have a romantic relationship anymore. In fact, many couples will tell me that they feel so disconnected that they are not even sure if the relationship is salvageable.
A significant number of couples I work with for relationship counselling will find that this has happened to them. Often they recognise this but don’t know how to change the current situation or to get the real relationship back on track. Also by this stage, there are often other issues that have surfaced as the relationship has been left to stagnate. Issues such as constant or volatile fighting and infidelities are two areas that seem to evolve frequently from this ‘flatmate’ stage of a relationship. [Read more…]