Marriage & Relationship Counselling can Help You Create a Healthy Relationship
If your relationship is unsatisfying or causing you problems, then you can change it.
Marriage counselling or relationship counselling can be a very effective way of dealing with relationship difficulties. Ranging from minor irritations within the relationship to more significant issues that are threatening the relationship. Many couples find that with the guidance of an experienced couples counsellor, problems that seemed insurmountable can be fixed.
Couples counselling is a niche area in counselling that requires a trained and experienced counsellor to be truly effective. Sharon is one of the most experienced couples counsellors in the area. Online Counselling allows everyone to access a specialist counsellor with over a decade of experience.
Relationship counselling can be done with either both partners present or one partner. In a supportive conversation, you will be guided as we explore the concerns you have. From there we set the goals that you want to achieve. We work together to find solutions and put in place strategies that will help to achieve your goals.
The focus is on the relationship and no blame is placed on either party as we work together to make positive changes in your relationship based on what you want.
Common Issues in Relationship Counselling
Common issues that I help people resolve through relationship counselling are:
- Communication problems
It is a common saying that communication is the key to a successful relationship. Improving communication may lead to other problems within the relationship being resolved.
Couples will often identify things like:
- Not being heard
- Constant escalation to fighting
Often there are some very simple changes that can be made to how you communicate with each other. From this alone, a relationship can vastly improve.
I will work with you to determine your current communication style and give you tools to improve your communication with each other.
- Lack of intimacy
After a long relationship or often after the arrival of children, couples can drift apart from each other. They find that they no longer touch, talk or have common interests.
Through marriage counselling we can identify what your relationship used to be like. Identifying the parts that were special and the reason you wanted to be together in the first place. Together we explore where you are at now and what has caused the changes. Using this information, we can work together to find ways for you to reconnect and build a fulfilling relationship.
- Blended Families
These days blended families make up a large and important part of our society. Bringing together children from different families and backgrounds can be pretty daunting. You met and fell in love with a new partner. Now have the task of introducing your new partner and perhaps their children to each other.
Sometimes this all falls together easily. The children get on, finances are equal and ex-partners are happy to work with you in this transition. More frequently, it isn’t an easy process and can place a great strain on the new relationship.
What should be a wonderful time in your life has suddenly become a constant navigation of problems. You may start to question if it is worth the drama. Get help to navigate the issues.
Relationship counselling can be effective at helping you work through issues that arise from blending a family. I can help you to find solutions that may work for your family and give you tools to help you make the transition as smooth as possible.
Abuse can take many forms. Most commonly people associate physical abuse as the typical and most damaging form of abuse. Other forms of abuse such as emotional, mental and financial abuse are also present in many relationships.
These forms of abuse can be more damaging in the long term for many relationships and for the individuals affected. Sometimes people do not even realise that the relationship they are in has an abusive aspect. They learn to tolerate or live with the abusive behaviour in the belief that they are to blame.
If this is you, then you have choices. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that. Some people choose to leave the relationship. They need help and guidance in how to build the courage to achieve this. Often they need help to rebuild their self-esteem.
Other people believe that the relationship is worth saving. They want to change the negative behaviour of their partner in order to have a fulfilling partnership. For many people, there is a sense of confusion and what the right choice might be.
I can help you determine where you are in the relationship and what you want to do going forward. Whatever your choice, I will be there to help you throughout the process. I won’t tell you what to do. There is often no ‘right’ answer. Just what works for you in this moment. That choice is yours to make when you are ready. But I will support you through that process.
- Constant fighting or anger
Many couples experience this during some part of their relationship as they navigate life together. Some couples manage to resolve issues well. Sometimes though, we need help to work through these issues or break out of the negative cycle.
Through counselling we can identify the issues that are causing friction and find solutions to them. Once these are resolved we then work on strategies to ensure that in future you have the tools to resolve problems yourselves. This helps you to maintain a happy and rewarding relationship.
Have a look at my article “Resolving Conflict in a Relationship” for more information.
One partner having an affair may at first seem like the end of a relationship. But it does not have to end if you don’t want it to. It is a lot of work to recover from an affair. It is possible if both partners are committed to staying together and putting in the effort. Many issues need to be addressed including the hurt, ongoing trust and the question of ‘why’?
If you choose to work on the relationship, it can be a slow process at the start. You may find that the hurt party struggles to deal with anger, sadness, grief and mistrust.
This can be difficult for the other partner to accept as a part of the relationship for the short to medium term. They often wish to just ‘put it behind them’. They feel guilt and realise how much hurt they have caused to someone they love.
Relationship counselling can benefit both partners and help you to understand how the other is feeling. Discovering and understanding how the infidelity could have happened in the first place and how to move forward.
My role is to help you work through this and not place judgement or blame. Together, you can get through this and build a safe relationship for the future. Some couples find that while the event was traumatic and hurtful, it made them focus on the relationship. They were forced to get the help they needed and they find they are in a stronger position than before.
See my article “Surviving Infidelity in a Relationship” for more information.
- Conflict over finances or parenting
These are two major areas that cause conflict within a relationship. Our values and ideas of life are formed throughout our childhood. We may however, expect these same beliefs from our partner although they have been raised in a different environment. We need to learn that the other person may also have a valid view point. Working together as a team to find a suitable outcome for you both is the main focus of counselling.
Finances and parenting can cause some of the most volatile and damaging arguments for couples. It is often the emotional attachment to these subjects that causes problems, not the differences themselves. I can work with you to get to the heart of the issues and find solutions that suit you both.
- Life changes
Throughout life we face challenge after challenge as we negotiate the different stages of our life. From first meeting your partner, negotiating marriage and living arrangements. Children, schooling, teenagers and divorce, through to the empty nest and retirement.
Navigating through these stages together and maintaining a healthy relationship can be difficult at times.
If you or your partner are struggling with any of these stages, don’t leave it until the relationship is in a poor state. Use counselling as a tool to help you work through them in an effective way.
Counselling can be an effective tool to help you navigate many issues in life and in your relationship. Whilst it can be a bit daunting booking your first counselling session, my clients will say they feel relieved within a few minutes of the session starting.
Counselling is a positive experience. Sometimes people view counselling as meaning you have issues and there is something wrong with you. The reality is, it is you caring for your brain and sourcing help the same was as you would get help for your body.
Most people are surprised that counselling can have such a great impact on resolving issues that they have been unable to resolve on their own.
If you are not sure if I can help with your particular problem or you are nervous about attending, please call or email. I am always happy to respond and it is alright to be nervous!
For many people it is a new experience. For others, there may have been a not so positive experience with a mental health practitioner in the past. Counselling should be a positive experience so don’t give up on the process just because you haven’t found the right person.
Are you ready to create a healthy relationship?
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