Marriage & Relationship Counselling can Help You Create a Healthy Relationship
If you are finding that your relationship is having problems, has encountered a significant event or is generally unsatisfying, then you can change it.
Marriage counselling and couples counselling can be a very effective way of dealing with relationship difficulties ranging from minor irritations within the relationship to more significant issues that are threatening the existence of the relationship. Often couples find that with the help of an experienced couples counsellor, problems that seemed insurmountable can be dealt with effectively and harmony can be restored to the relationship.
Couples counselling is a niche area in counselling that requires a trained and experienced counsellor to be truly effective. Sharon is one of the most experienced couples counsellors in the area.
Relationship counselling can be done with either both partners present or one partner if you choose. In a supportive and neutral environment we explore the concerns you have and set the goals that you want to achieve. We work together to find solutions and put in place strategies that will help to achieve your goals.
The focus is on the relationship and no blame is placed on either party as we work together to put in place strategies that will make positive changes in your relationship based on what you want.
Common Issues in Relationship Counselling
Common issues that I help people resolve through relationship counselling are:
- Communication problems
It is a common saying that communication is the key to a successful relationship and I often find that once couples have improved communication or fixed the communication problems they have, many other problems within the relationship will be resolved easily.
I will work with you to determine your current communication style and give you tools to improve your communication with each other.
- Lack of intimacy
After a long relationship or often after the arrival of children, couples can drift apart from each other and find that they no longer touch, talk or have common interests. If this is your relationship, then I can help you can change it.
Through marriage counselling we can identify what your relationship used to be like, the parts that were special, the reason you were together in the first place. Using this information, we can work together to find ways for you to reconnect and build a fulfilling relationship.
- Blended Families
These days blended families make up a large and important part of our society. Bringing together children from different families and backgrounds can be pretty daunting for the best of parents. You have met and fallen in love with a new partner and now have the task of introducing your new partner and perhaps their children to each other.
Sometimes this all falls together easily and the children get on, finances are equal and ex-partners are happy to work with you in this transition. More often than not, it isn’t an easy process and can place a great strain on the new relationship.
What should be a wonderful time in your life has suddenly become a constant navigation of problems and you may start to question if it is worth the drama. If this sounds like you, then please don’t give up yet.
Relationship counselling can be really effective at helping you work through all the issues that arise from blending a family. I can help you to find solutions that may work for your family and give you tools to help you make the transition as smooth as possible.
Abuse can take many forms and most commonly people associate physical abuse as the typical and most damaging form of abuse within a relationship. Other forms of abuse such as emotional, mental and financial abuse are also present in many relationships. These forms of abuse can be more damaging in the long term for many relationships and for the individuals affected. Sometimes people do not even realise that the relationship they are in has an abusive aspect and learn to tolerate or live with the abusive behaviour in the belief that they are to blame.
If this is you, then you have choices. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that. Some people choose to leave the relationship and need help and guidance in how to build the courage to achieve this and often need help to rebuild their self-esteem. Other people believe that the relationship is worth saving and want to change the negative behaviour of their partner in order to have a fulfilling partnership. For many people, there is a sense of confusion and what the right choice might be.
I can help you determine where you are in the relationship, what you want from it and help you set and achieve your goals. Whatever your choice, I will be there to help you throughout the process. I won’t tell you what to do, that choice is yours to make when you are ready. But I will support you through that process.
- Constant fighting or anger
Many couples experience this during some part of their relationship as they navigate life’s various challenges. Some couples manage to resolve the issues and move on, settling back into a comfortable relationship. Sometimes though, we need help to work through these issues or break out of the negative cycle.
Through counselling we can identify the issues that are causing friction and find solutions to them. Once these are resolved we then work on strategies to ensure that in future you have the tools to resolve problems yourselves, in a practical and effective way and maintain a happy and rewarding relationship.
Have a look at my article “Resolving Conflict in a Relationship” for more information.
One partner having an affair may at first seem like the end of a relationship. But it does not have to end if you don’t want it to. It is a lot of work to recover from an affair but it is possible if both partners are committed to staying together and putting in the effort to work together. Many issues need to be addressed including the hurt, ongoing trust and the question of ‘why’?
If you choose to work on the relationship, it can be a slow process at the start and you may find that the hurt party struggles to deal with anger, sadness, grief and mistrust. This can be difficult for the other partner to accept as an ongoing part of the relationship for the short to medium term as they often wish to just ‘put it behind them’.
Relationship counselling can benefit both partners and help you to understand how the other is feeling now, how the infidelity could have happened in the first place and how to move forward.
My role is to help you work through this and not place judgement or blame. Together, you can get through this and build a rewarding relationship for the future. Some couples will actually say that while the event was traumatic, it made them focus on the relationship, get the help they needed and they find they are in a stronger position than before.
See my article “Surviving Infidelity in a Relationship” for more information.
- Conflict over finances or parenting
These are two major areas that cause conflict within a relationship. Looking at how we are raised ourselves often gives us a clue as to the values we have and impose on our relationships, parenting and financial beliefs. Learning to accept that the other person may also have a valid view point and working together as a team to find a suitable outcome for you both is the main focus of counselling.
Finances and parenting can cause some of the most volatile and damaging arguments for couples and yet it is often the emotional attachment to these subjects that causes problems, not the differences themselves. I can work with you to get to the heart of the issues and find solutions that suit you both.
- Life changes
Throughout life we face challenge after challenge as we negotiate the different stages of our life. From first meeting your partner, negotiating marriage and living arrangements, children, schooling, teenagers, divorce, through to the empty nest and retirement. Navigating through these stages together and keeping your relationship satisfying and rewarding can be difficult and a real challenge at times.
If you or your partner are struggling with any of these stages, don’t leave it until the relationship is in a poor state. Use counselling as a tool to help you work through them and maintain a satisfying relationship with your partner.
Counselling is a really effective tool to help you negotiate and work through most issues in life and in your relationship. It can be a bit daunting booking your first counselling session. All of my clients will say they feel relieved within a few minutes of the session starting.
It is a good thing.
It’s you taking charge to make healthy changes and counselling is a positive action towards this. With the right person.
Most people are surprised that counselling can have such a great impact on resolving issues that they have been unable to resolve on their own.
If you are not sure if I can help with your particular problem or you are nervous about attending, feel free to give me a call or send me an email. I am always happy to respond and it is ok to be nervous.
Are you ready to create a healthy relationship?
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