A large part of my work is with individuals trying to navigate life and help them unravel patterns or habits that are in the way of them being happy. Whether that be as individuals or in relationships.
It seems today, more and more Mums have lost their identity through motherhood and may doubt themselves, their parenting or relationships. These Mums don’t ask for help, they look after everyone else first and often feel neglected in their relatioships too. They tend to come in to talk about something else and when we start talking, it becomes apparent that these Mums have put themselves last and are lost. This section directly addresses the work we do in this area to help keep Mums healthy so they can continue to look after their families effectively.
I’m a Mum, I get the struggle to be the perfect Mum and not knowing the ‘right’ thing to do a lot of the time. I feel like have achieved a really good balance for myself and my family. My kids and myself are thriving from this balance. It took me a while though to work it out.
If any of these are you, then I can try and help you to find you again and still be a good parent:
- feel you don’t know who you are anymore?
- feel that you are boring now?
- not enjoy parenting?
- find parenting overwhelming?
- feel guilt around having your own time?
- find yourself fighting with your partner or withdrawing?
- think that you are of no value?
- feel you aren’t heard?
- feel dissatisfied with your life?
- find yourself isolated from most friends unless it revolves around kids?
- feel like you are taken for granted?
- feel like parenting is beating your head against a wall?
- wonder how to discipline your kids now because you are just tired?
- feel overwhelmed a lot of the time and tired?
Are your kids getting out of control because you don’t have the energy to parent how you would like?
If you said yes to a few or more of these then you need some help to find you again and the balance in your world to allow that. You need to learn the value perhaps of being a little bit selfish!!
Working with Mums around themselves and parenting is one of my favourite and most fulfilling areas I have worked with as a counsellor. Watching women find themselves again, take control of their lives and the flow on effect of this to their kids and partner is wonderful.
Mums matter. You are still people. You just need to toss the Mum guilt, find the balance and become you again!