Why Self-Esteem Matters More Than You Think
There’s so much in the media right now about men not respecting women, women lacking confidence, and parents and society being unsure how to address these serious issues.
One of the most powerful ways we can begin to change this is by building strong self-esteem — both in ourselves and in our kids. But how does that actually help?
Why Self-Esteem Is So Important
The most important thing any of us can develop is healthy self-esteem. When we have a good sense of self-worth, we’re more likely to be our authentic selves and to pursue the things that matter to us. We get to be who we were truly meant to be.
What Healthy Self-Esteem Can Do
People with strong self-esteem are more able to:
- Have confidence
- Date comfortably and make healthy choices
- Build respectful relationships
- Pursue careers they truly want
- Stand up for themselves in negative situations
- Walk away from toxic relationships
- Navigate conflict in a healthy way
- Speak up and voice their opinions
- Form strong friendships
- Feel safe being their true selves
- Say “no” without guilt
- Ask for help when they need it
- Accept others’ differences
- Be less judgmental
- Avoid using others to feel better
- Be effective and nurturing parents
- Trust more easily in relationships
- Feel whole without relying on others for validation
That’s a long list and there are many more benefits too. Of course, people with low self-esteem can have some of these things as well, but usually it’s a mix. In some cases, people develop confidence in certain areas because they feel they need to prove themselves.
For example, some individuals with low self-esteem go on to build impressive careers, driven by the need for external validation. You only need to look at a few high-profile examples to see this dynamic in action.
What I See in Counselling Every Day
In my work with both adults and teenagers, I often help clients understand why they have low self-esteem and how to begin building a healthier, more stable sense of self-worth.
I work with people in unhealthy relationships, and often we discover that low self-esteem is at the heart of the problem. Once that’s addressed, we can shift focus to improving the relationship itself.
I see young women who accept poor treatment in dating simply because being chosen gives them a temporary boost in self-worth. Sadly, that feeling doesn’t last.
I also work with older teen girls who believe being sexually available will make them more liked or respected. Unfortunately, it often leads to the opposite, they’re judged, misunderstood, and left feeling worse. That lack of self-respect can lead to further poor choices.
I’ve worked with men struggling with anger and controlling behaviours, where underneath it all is low self-worth and unresolved insecurity.
And then there are the men and women who won’t try new things, like a sport, a new job, a social event, or even expressing what they want in a relationship all because deep down, they don’t believe they’re good enough.
When we’re not living the life we want, not even close, it can take a serious toll on our wellbeing. Low self-esteem can be a root cause of anxiety, depression, and dissatisfaction with life.
Start Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself and your children.
If anything in this article sounds familiar, maybe it’s time to make a change. You can start building healthy self-esteem today. It’s not a quick fix, but it is possible and you don’t have to do it alone.
Book a counselling session now and let’s begin the journey toward a healthier, more confident you.
Want to keep reading? Check out another of my most-read articles on self-esteem.