Is Marriage Counselling Effective? How to Give Your Relationship the Best Chance
One of the first questions couples ask me when they begin marriage counselling in Baulkham Hills is:
“Do you think our relationship can be fixed?”
While I can’t give a definite yes or no every couple is different, marriage counselling can be very effective, provided a few key things are in place.
What Makes Couples Counselling Work?
To give your relationship the best chance of thriving, a few things need to be true:
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There must still be some level of regard for each other.
Whether that’s love, respect, or at least a sense of “I like this person,” counselling rarely works when couples are only showing up out of obligation or solely for the children. -
Both partners need to be willing to do the work.
Successful couples counselling is not about “fixing” one person. It’s about both partners recognising the role they’ve played and being open to change. It takes honesty, accountability, and effort from both sides. -
The relationship needs to be given priority.
This is one of the most common challenges I see in my work with couples across the Hills District. Much of the progress from counselling happens between sessions when couples try the suggested tasks at home. If week after week the relationship tasks are skipped because life is “too busy,” it’s often a sign the relationship is no longer a top priority. And that has consequences.
Relationship Priority Matters
During the early days of a relationship, it’s normal to pour time and energy into one another. The connection is exciting, and couples often go out of their way to make the relationship feel special. But over time especially after kids, careers, and mortgages come along — many people start to believe that if the relationship is a good one, it should keep going without too much effort.
That’s simply not true.
Every strong relationship takes ongoing effort. And the happiest couples I’ve worked with, whether in Baulkham Hills or beyond, are the ones who continue to give their relationship the care and attention it deserves.
Think back to how you treated your partner in the beginning:
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How much effort did you put in to make them feel loved?
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How often did you put the relationship before other things like work or friends?
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How did you make time just to be together?
Fast forward to now, and for many couples, the relationship is at the bottom of the priority list. I understand that life gets full it’s not about feeling guilty. But the truth is, people always find time for what they see as important: the kids, their jobs, even social commitments. So why not the relationship?
When couples put their relationship on pause, assuming they’ll “get back to it one day,” they risk growing apart. Sometimes, one person starts to feel unfulfilled. Other times, a third party becomes involved. That’s often when couples finally seek help and while support is always available, prevention is better than crisis management.
How to Make Your Relationship a Priority (Starting Today)
Start small. Right now.
Here are a few ideas to show your partner they matter:
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Send a quick message during the day just to say you’re thinking of them.
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Bring home their favourite treat or surprise them with dinner.
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Set aside 30 minutes each night to just sit together – no screens, no distractions.
It doesn’t have to be grand. Small gestures done consistently can keep your connection strong.
If you used to go on weekend trips but can’t now because of young children, try planning a night away every few months. Or make your own traditions at home that give you space to reconnect.
A Final Word
If you’ve been wondering whether marriage counselling can work, the answer is yes especially if you’re both open to doing the work and ready to give your relationship the attention it needs.
If you’re based in Baulkham Hills or the surrounding Hills District, I offer supportive, down-to-earth counselling for couples who want to feel close again.
You can book a session online and take the first step toward rebuilding your connection.
Here if you need.
Counsellor